Tag Archives: family harmony

In Celebration of All Kinds of Mothers

As Mother’s Day approaches, we want to honor all mothers everywhere. Mothers come in all shapes, sizes and temperaments. Different cultures have different patterns of mothering. Mothers have different challenges and issues depending on their circumstances. Whether mothers have ‘First World Problems’ or ‘Third World’ Problems,’ they all need support and love from their family and community.

If our mother was loving and caring, we can be inspired by her love. If our mother had a pack of problems and didn’t know how to love us, we can be inspired by what she wasn’t and strive to be a better person ourselves. We can learn from whatever situation we are given. No matter how our mother did or didn’t give us the love we wanted, we can choose to love her. If our mother is no longer living, we can still give love to her. If we have unfinished business with our mom, we can do our best to forgive her and move on.

Mothering is a very complex and challenging process and I might add – one of the most important ‘jobs’ a woman can ever do.  As a mother, we strive to do our best based on our background and awareness, but often it seems like we can’t do anything right, especially according to our teenage kids. So during this week of remembering and honoring mothers, let’s remember to reach out to our own mother if she is living and to all the mothers in our world and let them know how much they are appreciated.

For a limited time are offering a special Mother’s Day Sale! All albums are only $9 each when you enter the code ‘MOTHERSDAY16’ at checkout!
And remember, when you comment here on the blog, we will send you a free mp3 music track in appreciation. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Healing Conflict by Changing Our Telepathic Agreements

Do you have anyone in your life who pushes your buttons or you feel has wronged you or hurt you in some way? Perhaps you feel they are judging you and you just can’t get over the sense of conflict that exists in that relationship. Well, there is a solution to this pervasive sense of conflict that disturbs your inner peace that you might want to try.

Consider this idea. Do you know that we have telepathic agreements with the various people in our lives? When we think of that certain person, we have a standard thought or feeling that pops up. We may feel anger, distrust or frustration. These feelings influence the actual relationship and we can change them for the better by using a simple technique.

Years ago I was introduced to the idea of ‘Changing Your Telepathic Agreement’ with someone you are in conflict with. The way it works is this – in a meditative state you bring that person into your consciousness and you speak to their ‘higher self’. At the beginning, you let them have it. In other words, you say all the things that are bothering you about that person, words that you might not want to say in person but what you are truly feeling. By the end of the first session, you shift and begin to say things like ‘but I understand how you may have become this way’…or ‘I know you are trying to your best.’  You do the meditation day after day with each successive day having less of the first part (‘you make me mad, you hurt me’) and more of the second part (‘we are getting closer to understanding, I forgive, etc.).

You can also create a forgiveness mantra and sing it to yourself.  It could be something simple like ‘I forgive you and you forgive me.’ Give it a melody and sing it whenever the person comes to mind. If you do this practice with conviction and repetition, you will find that soon, your projection of the conflict is changing and no matter how much they may have harmed you, when you think of that person, your thoughts won’t carry as much charge, and eventually you will find a peaceful resolution of the conflict with them.  In any event, you will have more inner peace and isn’t that what forgiveness is all about?

I know this works as I inadvertently discovered it over 40 years ago when I prepared for the birth of my first child. For about a decade, I had a long-standing conflict with my parents and I had felt terribly judged by them which hurt me deeply. As I approached my own parenthood, I decided to thoughtfully look at what was going on.

One day, I had the startling realization that I had equally strong judgments about my parents as they did of me. It occurred to me, on the eve of my becoming a mother, that I couldn’t change them, but I could change myself. I could let go of my judgments and love them unconditionally. With some effort, but also with a great feeling of relief I did just that. I let the love return that I had felt in my earlier years, and I just appreciated my parents as who they are, not who I thought they should be. Interestingly, within a few weeks, we had the first real communication in years. I hadn’t sent them a letter or called to announce my change of heart, but somehow, it had gotten through, and we renewed our family ties.

I hope you will be able to use this practice to heal all the relationships in your life. Let me know how it goes. And for those who comment on my blog, I’ll send them a free mp3 music track as a thank you!

7 Simple Steps for Stress Free Holidays Based on Chakras

Here come the holidays and with them a bundle of stress triggers and challenges that may take away from the fun and festivity of the season. While we love to get together with family and friends, sometimes the extra tasks and pressures can add up to create situations that are less than fun and definitely not festive. Extra shopping, more cooking, cleaning, preparing, crowds, traffic or traveling with flights delayed or other inconveniences can take the fun out of the season. Then, there are the long-term family patterns replete with buttons that are often pushed right at the dinner table after a few too many glasses of bubbly. Whatever form it takes, the strain and tension of being overloaded can sometimes rise up and ruin our fun, family time.

So how can we deal with this inevitable stress of the holidays and put the joy back into the season? Here are some simple steps we can take to uplift our spirits and make sure we don’t get overloaded and react emotionally in the presence of habitual family patterns or simply collapse from exhaustion when we should be having fun. These seven steps are actually based on the chakra system and begin with the crown or seventh chakra going down to the root or first chakra. Check them out and see if they resonate with you.

7_chakraSet Intention (Crown)

Decide in advance how you would like your holiday experience to be.  You can use ideas like – peaceful, meaningful, relaxing, fun. Whatever words you come up with, you might want to form them into a simple mantra or affirmation to keep in the forefront of your awareness as you go through your socializing. Remember the aspects of an affirmation are threefold: positive, present tense and repetition. An example would be ‘I am peaceful and relaxed’ or whatever idea you want to remind yourself of when intensity arises. Say it often.

6_chakra 1Visualize (Third Eye, Mind)

Use mental images to picture how you would like to see the holidays unfold. You can imagine your home beautifully decorated with family members happily enjoying a home cooked meal and conversing with one another in pleasant tones. Or you might picture young children playing well together with their new gifts. Don’t forget to picture yourself attending to your tasks with ease in a relaxed manner. You may want to focus on the deeper meaning of the holiday you are celebrating and especially the fellowship of gathering together with family and friends.  Continue reading 7 Simple Steps for Stress Free Holidays Based on Chakras

A Tribute to Dads Who Really Care for Their Kids

Dads are the best when they are around to help raise their kids.
Father mosaicI found this mosaic in the New York City subway and it reminds me how much I appreciate the modern dads I see all the time carrying their babies in backpacks or playing with and caring for their young children.  It’s so different these days from when my own dad was a new father.  Don’t get me wrong.  He loved his little children and was a good provider, but most of the parenting of young children in those days was from the mother.  And it’s even somewhat different today from when my husband Dean Evenson was a new dad. He certainly did his share of diaper changing and holding our babies, but I don’t recall him carrying them strapped to his body in a baby pack.  Dean does like to recall the moments just after our second daughter’s home birth when he held her and looked into her eyes as her spirit gradually began to fully inhabit her body after the miracle of birth.

We hear lot about the progress made for women in terms of equality in the workplace and that sort of thing but I want to take a moment and honor the progress made for dads who are getting to spend more quality time with their babies.  It is such a blessing to hold a tiny new life next to your body and feel that intimacy and warmth of hearts beating together.

On another note, I once heard a definition of a “good husbandman as one who knows when to plant the seed.”  A ‘husbandman’ is a farmer or a person who cultivates the land and of course there are good and bad times to plant seeds so they will grow to fruition.  Of course a husband is also a partner in a marriage or a relationship so it makes sense that there are good and bad times to ‘plant the seeds’ of new life.  I would also add that a ‘good husband’ would also know to stay around and tend the garden of the family.

So hooray for the good dads everywhere in every culture.  May you enjoy the blessings of fatherhood and may your children honor and appreciate you! I would love to hear about your dad or your partner or your experience as a dad and for those who comment on my blog I will send you a free mp3 track of our relaxing music.  

To honor dads this month Soundings of the Planet is having a sale of all our CDs so use this code at soundings.com to get a super discount. FATHERDAYS15.  Dads need to relax too.

 

7 Simple Steps for Stress Free Holidays

Try these seven tips based on the chakras for more peaceful holidays.
You might start by slowing down as my sweet neighbors suggest with this sign.

10 MPHHere come the holidays and with them a bundle of stress triggers and challenges that can take away from the fun and festivity of the season.  While we love to get together with family and friends, sometimes the extra tasks and pressures can add up and create situations that are less than fun and definitely not festive.  Extra shopping, more cooking, cleaning, preparing, crowds, parties, traffic or traveling with flights delayed or other inconveniences can take the fun out of the season.  Then, there are the long-term family patterns replete with buttons that are often pushed right at the dinner table after a few too many glasses of bubbly.  Whatever form it takes, the strain and tension of being overloaded can sometimes rise up and ruin our fun, family time.

So how can we deal with this inevitable stress of the holidays and put the joy back into the season?  Here are some simple steps we can take to uplift our spirits and make sure we don’t get overloaded and react emotionally in the presence of habitual family patterns or simply collapse from exhaustion when we should be having fun.  These seven steps are actually based on the chakra system and begin with the crown or seventh chakra and go down to the root or first chakra.  Check them out and see if they resonate with you.

7_chakraSet Intention (Crown)
Decide in advance how you would like your holiday experience to be.  You can use ideas like – peaceful, meaningful, relaxing, fun.  Whatever words you come up with, you might want to form them into a simple mantra or affirmation to keep in the forefront of your awareness as you go through your socializing.  Remember the aspects of an affirmation are threefold: positive, present tense and repetition.  An example would be ‘I am peaceful and relaxed’ or use whatever idea you want to remind yourself when intensity arises.  Say it often.

Visualize (Third Eye, Mind)
Use mental images to picture how you would like to see the holidays unfold.  You can imagine your home beautifully decorated with family members happily enjoying a home cooked meal and conversing with one another in pleasant tones.  Or you might picture young children playing well together with their new gifts.  Don’t forget to picture yourself attending to your tasks with ease in a relaxed manner.  You may want to focus on the deeper meaning of the holiday you are celebrating and especially the fellowship of gathering together with family and friends.

5_chakraCommunicate (Throat)
Talk to family members and friends that you will be socializing with and make plans so everyone is on the same page.  Get input and add your own ideas.  Try to share the tasks and planning so it isn’t all on one person’s shoulders.  If past holidays were overwhelming, try simplifying your plans.  Consider a potluck instead of one person doing all the cooking.  You might want to add the element of giving back to the community or helping those less fortunate who need some extra holiday cheer.  This will make the holiday much more meaningful to you and your family.

4_chakraCollaborate (Heart)
Invite your family and your friends to be part of your festivities.  Work and play together and enjoy each other’s company.  Remember the love that brought you together in the first place and be careful not to let stress or emotions trigger unnecessary reactions.  This is a time to enjoy and appreciate each other.  Express your gratitude in random ways and you will find it returned to you.  Minimize gossip and politics.  People in the same family often hold different points of view so best to avoid conversations that cause conflict.  The long-term benefits of unconditional love will be the reward.

3_chakraTake Action (Solar Plexis)
If you are hosting a gathering, let yourself enjoy the activities and tasks involved.  Enlist close friends or family members to help you with preparation and logistics.  If you are attending other people’s events, be sure to help in the kitchen and contribute to the workload.  Put on happy holiday music to lift your spirit and remind you of why you are doing all the extra work – the shopping, cooking, cleaning, gifting, decorating and so on.  You may want to take time for yoga or stretching to release pent up energy so you have the vitality you need to carry out all you have assigned yourself to do.

2_chakraEnjoy and Play (Sacral)
Remember the reason for the season and even in the midst of all you are doing, be sure to let yourself feel passion and joy for the blessings in your life, your family, friends, food to eat and roof over your head.  Many people have much less in life and still manage to keep smiling. In fact, a good laugh is always in order, even when the turkey falls on the floor or your dog overturns the holiday tree or a child knocks over a glass and breaks it.  Especially turn your enthusiasm toward your elders or those suffering or in need.  This season is a perfect time to reach out to others who can use a physical or spiritual boost.

1_chakraGrounding (Root)
This is the level where you take care of the basics, the details and all that is necessary to manifest what it is you want.  This is also the place where you can connect with the earth and honor all that it provides for your physical needs.  Be specific and check off the tasks on your list so you can feel you have accomplished what needs to be done.  You also may want to ground out by taking a walk in nature or by taking a few moments to sit quietly in your room or in a sacred place in your home.  In this sanctuary, try playing some peaceful, relaxing music to help remind you of the inner peace you are so wanting in the midst of life’s normal chaos.

I hope these suggestions are helpful and you are able to find peace and fulfillment during the holidays this year.  I welcome any additional suggestions for stress free holidays whether or not they relate to the chakras.  You can see my video on toning with the chakras on our YouTube channel or listen to my chakra meditations and the music my husband, Dean Evenson, and I create at www.soundings.com.

And thanks to my teacher Anodea Judith for her wisdom on manifesting your dreams through your chakras.