Do you have anyone in your life who pushes your buttons or you feel has wronged you or hurt you in some way? Perhaps you feel they are judging you and you just can’t get over the sense of conflict that exists in that relationship. Well, there is a solution to this pervasive sense of conflict that disturbs your inner peace that you might want to try.
Consider this idea. Do you know that we have telepathic agreements with the various people in our lives? When we think of that certain person, we have a standard thought or feeling that pops up. We may feel anger, distrust or frustration. These feelings influence the actual relationship and we can change them for the better by using a simple technique.
Years ago I was introduced to the idea of ‘Changing Your Telepathic Agreement’ with someone you are in conflict with. The way it works is this – in a meditative state you bring that person into your consciousness and you speak to their ‘higher self’. At the beginning, you let them have it. In other words, you say all the things that are bothering you about that person, words that you might not want to say in person but what you are truly feeling. By the end of the first session, you shift and begin to say things like ‘but I understand how you may have become this way’…or ‘I know you are trying to your best.’ You do the meditation day after day with each successive day having less of the first part (‘you make me mad, you hurt me’) and more of the second part (‘we are getting closer to understanding, I forgive, etc.).
You can also create a forgiveness mantra and sing it to yourself. It could be something simple like ‘I forgive you and you forgive me.’ Give it a melody and sing it whenever the person comes to mind. If you do this practice with conviction and repetition, you will find that soon, your projection of the conflict is changing and no matter how much they may have harmed you, when you think of that person, your thoughts won’t carry as much charge, and eventually you will find a peaceful resolution of the conflict with them. In any event, you will have more inner peace and isn’t that what forgiveness is all about?
I know this works as I inadvertently discovered it over 40 years ago when I prepared for the birth of my first child. For about a decade, I had a long-standing conflict with my parents and I had felt terribly judged by them which hurt me deeply. As I approached my own parenthood, I decided to thoughtfully look at what was going on.
One day, I had the startling realization that I had equally strong judgments about my parents as they did of me. It occurred to me, on the eve of my becoming a mother, that I couldn’t change them, but I could change myself. I could let go of my judgments and love them unconditionally. With some effort, but also with a great feeling of relief I did just that. I let the love return that I had felt in my earlier years, and I just appreciated my parents as who they are, not who I thought they should be. Interestingly, within a few weeks, we had the first real communication in years. I hadn’t sent them a letter or called to announce my change of heart, but somehow, it had gotten through, and we renewed our family ties.
I hope you will be able to use this practice to heal all the relationships in your life. Let me know how it goes. And for those who comment on my blog, I’ll send them a free mp3 music track as a thank you!